Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Close to the couch

Couches, furniture, its all related right?  Here are some stories that I have formulated from a long time friendship with the Amazing Maggie.  Also known as Maggie the Great, Mags the wonderful and my favorite Maggie the Fabulous.   Maggie is my best friend.  She is the Mutt to my Jeff (for those of you who know who Mutt and Jeff are, if not follow the link!)  She is the laurel of my hardy  (Laurel and Hardy), we are the queens o' fabulous!

If you want the mushy, fact filled part head over to Maggie's blog and get the facts.  Here you will find a couple of sniggle  (this is between a snicker and a giggle) worthy stories.

Maggie and I got into a business together of cleaning rental houses and new construction.  We both held good full time jobs but for the fun and shoe shopping money we started a small business called MCC.  Which is either Maggie, Chrissy Cleaning, or (my favorite) Master Cleaning Chicks.   I am not sure if you are familiar with the ins and outs of rental cleaning but it is a dirty, nasty, smelly, gooey, poopy (literally) job.  So when the opportunity presented itself to stage a brand new house with furniture I jumped at the chance!
I love interior design, I love to move furniture around and make cozy spaces, I love new houses and I love working with Maggie!  I gathered a bunch of furniture from my house, some from Maggie's place, went to Rent a Center and rented some and the big day arrived.  I worked all day staging the house, placing nice bits and pieces, the stuff that was there.   That night after work and dinner Mags came to help bring in the beds and such.  There was a stair case to navigate which is fairly difficult seeing as how there is a significant height difference between us.  I am 5'9" and Mags is 5'2" eyes of blue.....  The stairs did not get the better of us though, we made it up with the bed frame, then the box spring, then the mattress we are invincible.

Almost invincible, this was the day I found Maggie's kryptonite.  The mattress had my aged Grandmother's until she moved into a home for aged Grandmothers.  As we were setting the mattress in place I noticed a dried, brown smear on the mattress cover (it was still wrapped in plastic).  I began to laugh because Mag's and I always would say "it's poo" in silly voices over every foreign substance.  As I began to laugh, assuming that Mags also had seen the smear all I said was "actually it is".  Several moments after I said this Mags saw "THE SMEAR" and asked "wha...." and that was as far as she got before freaking out!!!!   I, being the good friend that I am, fell to the floor in tears of laughter, laughed until I couldn't breath and my stomach hurt beyond all reason.  Eventually Mags was able to laugh as well, though her's was more of a nervous giggle...

The moral of this story:  If a bear walked into a bar he would say OW!

Friday, August 19, 2011

Adventure on a Couch:

I am so sorry to all my adoring fans *takes a bow* I believe that my following is up to ….drum role please!....2 two whole followers.   Any whoootzen on with the story.

Adventure on a Couch:

As it turns out, when I sleep on couches I am an abusive sleeper.  I would like to apologize now for whacking my roommate.   I was roommates with a very good friend of mine during camp this year, it was a great time.  She and I shared an apartment in the camp, it had a kitchen, a bathroom, a living room and sleeping room. ( I prefer to call it a sleeping room)  We however were cruely forced to sleep in the living room on a pull out hideous… er.. I mean hide-a-bed. The mattress of the hide a bed in this particular couch was of the most foul type so, being clever, I took two twin mattresses and we used those instead.  Over all it was quite comfortable, not too soft, not too hard and not, to quote my room mate, unlike sleeping in a spoon.  It sloped from the head toward the foot, from the sides to the middle, and from the feet toward the head.  There was more than once in the dead of night I woke up VERY close to my room mate, each in our separate sleeping bags, but quite uncomfortably close.

Its no wonder I would get violent.  Between the kids knocking on the door with fake sicknesses, the kids throwing tantrums at 4 in the morning and everything else I believe that I am slightly validated in whacking my poor roomie.  It seems it was the night before her birthday, about 2 in the morning I should say, when all of the sudden, my right arm flew in the air and remained there for a few moments before crashing down upon her.  She responded "eeerrhhhggg" I believe I quote directly.  I kind of remembered this upon waking but fearing for my life I chose not to mention it.  However in time (about 6 hours) my curiosity over came my fear, so asked her if she remembered.  Much to my chagrin she had not remembered it until I brought it up.  oops.   She however is still my good friend, but at the next camp I did finally find myself sleeping on a camping cot.....hmmmm I wonder if there is connection.

Well the lesson learned in all of this is: sleep in a normal bed and no one gets hurt. 

Friday, August 5, 2011

The Couch Origin

Let us not become confused by titles, words and falderal.  ~me

There is something that runs in my family.  It runs, it gallops (which is far more fun than running, if you haven't tried a good gallop in a while you should try one now.  Just Gallop down the length of the room and back, I'll wait........ Now wasn't that fun?  You didn't gallop did you?  Well your loss)   it sneaks, it crawls and it springs up when you least expect it.  The worst part is it can't be medicated, it can't be dealt with in therapy, it just is and always will be.   This is... all things furniture.   At this moment sitting in my mom's house are 5 complete dining room sets. Who needs 4 extra dining room sets? and lets not even start on the high boys.

In my life it all started with a trip to the local serenity house. I had my eye on a couch. 1920s, kinda torn fabric, nice design, very cute in a shabby sort of way.  Then one day the couch gnome (I believe there is a couch gnome) smiled on me.  There was a half sale on all couches, $25 later it was mine, all mine! And I had my very own couch.
Now I am always in need of a few extra bucks, so I started looking thru Craigs list and the paper and such for free things that I could turn around and sell.  I found another couch for free.  After chatting with this lady for an hour on the phone I went to look at it, Fell and love now I have 2 couches.  Here is where we start to encounter the problem. I live in a very small garage.  And really do not have room for a lot o' couches.  So being careful about my situation, understanding I have no space I made the only logical decision and I took another couch from a garage sale. This couch is GIGANTIC! and now have 3 couches!  Though there is plenty of space to actually sit on, there is not plenty of room to get the couches due to an immense amount of stuff that resides on the couches.
On the 20's couch live all my stuffed animals, dolls and throw blankets, I have a good number of these as I am very attached to my stuffed animals.   On one section of the sectional (the second couch) lives a TV that is laying face down, directly across from this (with a table in between) is the other section on which lay scattered the remnants of my packing from my travels.  I have remants from my trip to Haiti, my weeks at camp, my planned trip to Mexico and daily comings and goings. On the Third couch is one space reserved for me. I occupy this space on my day off, my evenings, and a morning or 2 with a cup of coffee whilst I ponder the never ending question in life " from which couch is the awful smell emitting?"

Speaking of which, I must be off to clear a way to the couch by the window and find that odd smell.....Where DID I leave the fabreeze??